You Know You're Getting Old, When...

You start humming and hawing about your age. When I was 20, I was like:

'How old are you?'

(chipper) 'I'm 20!!!' =D!

Each subsequent year from then, it's more like; "I'm.... 22!"

"Er.... I'm...*cough* 24... >_>"

You will find that the incidence of exclamations decreases, and the length of hesitation increases. You have moments where you're young and you just join the workforce and you're probably the youngest person there. Everyone is older than you. Everyone is an adult, but you. And at least when I joined, the adults pander to you a little....it's the maternal/paternal instinct in them I suppose. And then a few years pass... and a new batch of recruits come up out of nowhere.

And suddenly, it's like: "Holy Shiznit! I'm not the youngest person here anymore. That thing about me being the center of the universe? It's not true!" ....and then they breeze in, bouncing through life going: 'Tee hee, I'm 18!" And you're like, 'Gawd, was I ever like that?'-- and the answer is you were probably more annoying than that.

And suddenly you realize that the first Die Hard movie they've ever seen had Justin Long in it, (which is just wrong, seriously. Original all the way), and they have no conceivable idea who Jem is.

And you're suddenly aware: Time's passing. It's taking me with it, dammit.

My problem is that I still look 20. Well, to be honest, that's not a big problem. But I'm not 20, and a lot of people think I am that age.  Both older people and younger people assume I'm the age I look-- and that's fine by me, except that in dealing with people who think they're older than me-- even if they aren't-- there's always the implied notion that you're too young to know what you're talking about, or that you're an idiot. Even now, I don't get a lot of respect because people think I'm younger than I am.


I have little opportunity to tell them my true age at work, so I can't really remedy their thoughts about me, except to act as professional as possible and show no hesitation at all in what I'm saying. Even if I am talking out of my ass.

I have worse things to complain about, honestly. I like looking young. I might sound ungrateful to bitch about it. Sorry.


Thing is, in looking young I get included all the time by younger people. They'll invite me and befriend me and stuff and assume I'm their age. So inevitably, when I tell people my actual age, they are extremely surprised to say the least.

Depending on their age, they might blanch and look like they're about to throw up. Anything over 25-- to a 18 year old-- is old. Especially the girls. Boys don't seem to care as much about my age for some reason. But a lot of teenagers act like they're going to get old person germs just for talking to me. To be fair, not all of them are like this, but enough are make you feel like: 'What are you talking to us for? You're....old'. Even if they made friends with you first-- which just makes the hesitation stronger when I do tell them my true age; especially since, if I hadn't, their attitude wouldn't have changed.

People are ageist, this is fact.

This hit one one day for me was when I was talking to one of the new teeny boppers at work one day-- she was remarking how she liked a certain new guy at work, who was around 20, (she was 18) and that she had a slight crush on him. I said, she was right, he was pretty cute; she said: "EW, you can't say that, you could be his mom!"

...

I told her, she must have been sick the day in Heath Class, when they explained that women can't have children before puberty, and although women are going through puberty younger and younger, I was definitely unable to have a child at age 6.

That brings me to another point. Had I been a guy, it probably wouldn't have mattered-- but as a woman, it's somehow gross and creepy. I have dated a guy eleven years older than me before. I've also dated someone four years younger than me, and guess what? I got more shit for dating the younger guy, than I did for dating the guy 11 years my senior.

Madness, I tell you. It does bother me a lot. It's like, once you're older than a guy, you're suddenly in mom territory, so don't look or even be attracted to them! You're not allowed! You need to nurture them and press them up to your bosom in a non sexual way! How dare you have impure thoughts! You're an old woman, and you are expired goods. That's bullshit to me.

I hate to tell you younguns out there, but just because you get older physically, doesn't mean you get older mentally (well, except in that you forget things and stuff, and you mature. A little. Some people don't mature at all). But the same kind of guys you were attracted to when you're 18, you still like when you're 25-- I mean, I noticed Zac Efron is cute. He doesn't cease to be cute just because he's younger than me. My brain doesn't work like that. Does anyones? If it does, you're kidding yourself. The primal 'must have babies' cortex in your brain (I think that's the technical name for it), doesn't care how old someone is when you're looking at them.

It's just thinking in terms of 'well, our babies would be fit, and tough. They would survive the hell out of all the other babies!'

It's only when you stop and think (and when others make you feel bad about it), that you rationalize and make yourself feel guilty for something I think you personally shouldn't. As long as they're legal and into you, age shouldn't matter so much. Especially since it doesn't matter as much to men who date younger women.

Even my best friend thought, and continues to think that a younger guy with an older girl was strange/weird/insane/omgwhatafreak. She thought this while I was dating my boyfriend, (who was younger than me) and her biggest complaint regarding her cousin's new girlfriend was 'but-- she's older than him!' Egads. Some people are genuinely in love. I hate how suddenly an entire age group of potential suitors is off limits to you simply because you're older than them. And I'm not talking 15 year differences, I'm talking something as small as a four year difference.

Yes, I know, I'm very bitter. It's just something that's been bothering me lately.

Now if someone asks me my age, I'm just going to reply; 'well how old do you think I am?' and provided they don't say '57,' I'll say 'well, that's my age then.'

And until then, I'm going to ride the cougar train for as long as I conceivably can. Oh yeah.