Eurovision Is My Christmas - Semi 2

If you didn't already know-- Eurovision is my Christmas, really. I explain this in my previous entry. Last night, I watched the first Semi Final, and tonight I watched the second Semi.

Woah Woah Woah.

Looks like all the talent was in Semi 2.

Firstly, the favourite, Sweden. Euphoria was great, but eh. I don't know. It didn't do it for me. But the 'Swedish Ninja' with the spinning kick that comes out in the last ten seconds surely did. I've been spin-kicking around my house all flippin' night. "Euuuphooooorriaaaaaaaaa... forever till the end of tiiiiiiiime...."  KICK.

Hmm. A hyper, somewhat chubby woman doing twirling kicks around her living room on a Saturday night?

C'mon, you know that's totally awesome.

Speaking of kicks and shit, that reminds me. What the what, Lithuania? Standard heart-broken ballad, and then the guy-- who's name is Donny Montell -- just fucking one hand flips and air-guitars the fuck out of his crotch for two seconds, mid-song.

Me: Instant fan.

But If Rambo Amadeus's inspiration for his name was purportedly Rambo...  and Amadeus Mozart (always a great combination) then was Donny Montell's inspiration... what? Donny Osmond and Montell Williams?

We shall never know.

I actually didn't like Lithuania's song all that much though-- but major-props to his one-hand-flipping-air-guitar ability, which made me a little wet in the pants. But I would have preferred Belarus get through, as I liked their song better. "We are the wieners! We are the wieners!" I liked it. I am sad. I mean, yeah, it wasn't like the greatest song ever, but it was good.

And you know what? Turkey didn't do it for me either.

Yeah yeah, it has historical undertones and traditional music. Whatever. But it's the guys voice for me, Cam Bonomo. It's like he didn't know that he was representing Turkey the country, and not Turkey the bird. He's a warbler. Besides, all the props they get from the traditional instruments is nullified by the horrible lyrics.

"Hop onto my ship baby... I'll make you fly."

... it's a fucking ship. Do you know what a ship does?

Hint: It doesn't fly.

Unless 'ship' is euphemism for 'penis' -- in which case -- yeah, no. Still doesn't fly. Sorry.

Unless... well, maybe he's just that damn good.

Besides, one of the whole lines is just him repeating; "nonny nani nani naaaaa," for about ten seconds.

Yeah. Well. What do I know?

What did I like, then? I liked Serbia, I found it touching. I have no jokes there. I liked Macedonia a lot-- I like how she flips the blah love-ballad into a power ballad. Aw yeah. GUITAR.

Speaking of guitar, oh Slovakia-- with your perfect abs your and thow-back to 80s metal hair bands. I want your babies, even though you have prettier hair than me and are wearing more eyeliner than I ever have in my entire life. I can't believe you didn't get through and I wish you had... if for no other reason than to be able to ogle you and your band of hotness again.


... wait, didn't I say something about not treating men like eye candy, or some such?


Huh. Well, I can't help it, I'm getting to the 'must procreate!' age. It's very disconcerting for a woman.

Anyway, their live performance wasn't great, in my opinion, so I'm not that surprised that they didn't get through to the final. Their video clip kills, but whathisface's voice doesn't have the same strength live.

I'm pretty happy Malta got through, though. If just for the opening lines:

"Hey, look at me, and you see... that I'm into you."

Yeah, it's beautiful. *tears*

Also the explosion knuckle-tap at the start and the sideways shuffle at the end brings it home for me.

The song itself, well... it's fine. But that doesn't matter, because... yellow pants!

Um... I think that's it. I'll try to update tomorrow, but like I said yesterday-- Everything is delayed here in Australia, so we'll get it tomorrow night. I mean really delayed-- I mean, I think the result is being tallied as I write but I won't see it for another 20 hours.

Must not ruin result for myself. Must not go online for at least 20 hours.

This is going to be difficult....  me and the internet is kind of like Satsuki and the Beast from CLAMP's X/1999. If I could have the internet piped intravenously I probably would. Not to mention I'd probably write a lot faster if I was hooked up to my computer.

A girl can dream.

I guess this means I might have to... ugh, go outside or something, tomorrow. 

That's going to suck: I'm 99% sure that if I go out in the sun I might die.