Up there is Julia Zemiro and Sam Pang, the hosts for Eurovision in Australia. I personally love them-- and I think they're hilarious. Julia is so cute and funny. Her expressions crack me up. She reminds me of me a little-- if only I could be half as charismatic and talented as her, I'd be very happy.
Can't believe it's already over for another year. I personally think the songs were better this year, compared to last year. I didn't mind that Euphoria won, because it had a little something something. Maybe it was the dancing ninja who gave it the edge, maybe it was dandruff like snow. Who knows.
Did I mention I love Eurovision? I think I did... what with two entries gushing about the subject. I used up all my funny last night, though. So all I'm going to do is make lists.
Dunneh's Top 5 Eurovision Final 2012 Songs
1. Serbia - Željko Joksimović - Nije Ljubav Stvar
Serbia was my favourite entry, just because it gave me chills every time. The man is sexy and he has a sexy voice, even though he's not the kind of man I usually go for -- he's kind of magnetic. I'm actually 1/4 Croatian on my mother's side, so the little I could understand of it was touching. Not that it needed to be understood to be touching; part of the appeal to me is that I couldn't understand it. And I'm glad it did well.
2. Iceland - Greta Salóme & Jónsi - Never Forget
Yeah, I freaking love this song. I love the timbre of the guy's voice at the start, the violin, the lyrics, the way they harmonize. I can't believe it ranked so low. It had like these metal undertones I love, and I guess the lyrics just resonated with me.
3. FYR Macedonia - Kaliopi - Crno I Belo
I loved this song, and it was hard to decide between my top three favourites to be honest. The more I hear this, the more I like it. I love how she flips it into a power-ballad 1/4 of the way through. The only qualm I have with the song is even though Kaliopi rocks, her voice might not be strong enough to carry the song for most people. I like it, because it's husky and sexy, but compared to some of the pipes that represented tonight, hers is an acquired taste.
4. Germany - Roman Lobb - Standing Still
I usually don't do sad love ballads, but freaking all of my songs on this list are love ballads. Then again, you could argue that 99% of the songs at Eurovision are love ballads, so there's a good chance that regardless of what I pick, there is going to be a love ballad.
Anyway, I liked this, and it's not because Roman Lobb is handsome-- even though he is. It was just a nice song, and he has a lovely voice. He actually doesn't appeal to me because I don't like ear gauges very much... also he needs a shave. Either do the beard or don't. Don't be a hobo, man.
5. Italy - Nina Zilli - L'Amore È Femmina
I'm loathe to put Germany before Italy because Nina Zilli is boss; she's so cute and friendly, especially when you see her in interviews. But I don't like this style of song, to be honest. Except this is good enough that she made me a fan of both her and the song. You could accuse me of bias, but I am not -- I freaking hated Italy's entry last year, and that ranked second. Shows what I know.
Dunneh's Least Favourite Eurovision Final 2012 Songs
1. Ireland - Jedward - Waterline
Are you phoning it in Ireland? Really? Are you all; 'hey we've won the most times so let's let someone else win for a change!' because that's very gracious of you.
I'm going to piss off a myriad of teenage girls, but... it really doesn't get more annoying than Jedward. I like cute blonde twins as much as the next girl, but they really don't do it for me. It doesn't help they still look fifteen, even though they're twenty now. And there's a difference between bubbly, youthful enthusiasm, and the spastic frenzied machinations of Jedward. They can't dance, they can't sing, they aren't even in synch-- and even their moderate amount of cuteness cannot save them in my eyes. I'm sorry teen girls of the world, I want to like them, I really do... but I just can't.
2. Turkey - Can Bonomo - Love Me Back
You can't just put some traditional instruments in there and expect me to take it seriously, Turkey-- even if the you managed to fool most of Europe with your hipster pirate rendition. I didn't like it namely because the guy was a warbler. He warbled the entire song, and maybe that's just his style, but once I noticed the wavering tone in his singing voice it kind of drove me to distraction for the rest of the song. Nonny nonny... yeah whatever.
3. Albania - Rona Nishliu - Suus
Ah, Albania. I didn't know you had just recently graduated art school."I wanna be edgy and experiment! I wanna push the line between music and art! Nobody understands me! AAAAAaaaaaa!"
I don't doubt Rona can sing-- she has a strong set of pipes. Unfortunately, she appeared to be in pain for most of the song. I'm guessing birthing pain, judging by the umbilical cord that appears to be wrapped around her neck.
4. Greece - Eleftheria Eleftheriou - Aphrodisiac
Her name translates to "Freedom Freedom" more or less -- which I'm sure proves her parents are the equivalent of Greek rednecks.
I like to dance but I can assure you that when I "dance like a maniac" it really isn't very sexy. And I'm relatively sure that if I was attracted to someone and I busted out my maniacal dance moves, that it wouldn't look anything like what the very beautiful Miss Eleftheriou was doing, and I wouldn't have the same result she would.
In fact, I'm going to take a wild guess and assume they don't know what 'maniac' means over in Greece. Funny, because the etymology is Greek. Someone should have told them that it generally follows words like 'homicidal' and 'raving' and precedes things like 'laugh'
And let's say this was a nod to Flashdance, with the maniac reference-- which I doubt; I think it was a necessity for the rhyme, but lets just say it was a nod to it -- 'She's a maniac on the dance floor / And she's dancing like she's never danced before' isn't really a good thing to say about anyone who is dancing, especially if you want to impress someone on a sexual level. But maybe it's just me.
Anyway the song was cute, and she's gorgeous, but it was so vacuous -- even compared to the other sexed up vacuous songs this year. C'mon Greece, you can do bettter. And so sad to see Greece has so little money that they forgot half her dress though. Darn cutbacks.
5. Cyprus - Ivi Adamou - La La Love
Okay, Ivi was beautiful. She looked like Aphrodite personified; which is fitting because if I remember my mythology correctly Aphrodite is supposed to be of Cyprus-- literally. But I can't remember crap-all most of the time, so don't quote me on that. And I'm too lazy to look it up right now.
I wanted to like Ivi, I really did. But I hated her voice. She has this weird low-tone and nasal twang that really brings the song down. And the song is not that bad, but with her singing it really doesn't hit where it should. Aaaand... I have nothing funny to say here.
Honorable Mentions
1. Russia - Buranovskiye Babushki - Party For Everybody
"Partee for ebbibody.... dans..."
They had a secret weapon in the littlest one; come on. She was so flippin' cute. I wanted to pinch her little cheeks. Proof that if you're young enough, or old enough, you get cute again. So I just gotta wait till I'm seventy and people will find me adorable again. Lucky me!
Anyway it was cute, but it was gimmicky. Song-wise there was almost nothing there. Regardless, I loved them though-- and they almost made me tear up, but I would have preferred more of an amalgam between old and new, not just a 'You thought it was a traditional ballad--haha, fooled you!' moment. But it was still adorable and I'm glad they did well.
2. Lithuania - Donny Montell - Love Is Blind
He got me when he one-handed-flipped with his mike in his hand, then decided to air-guitar the heck out of his crotch. And he had an amazing set of pipes. Too bad I really disliked the song on the whole. But he has a great voice.
3. United Kingdom - Englebert Humperdink - Love Will Set You Free
I like it because it's the Dink; I don't like it because it's the UK. I like it because the Dink is awesome. I don't like it because the lyrics are cheesy. It has a great message and everything, but in my opinion it just doesn't work somehow.
I wanted to like it, because I saw Julia Zemiro interview the Dink, and he's really likeable. Even though he's seventy-six and crusty as shit now. He's still pretty great. I wanted him to do well -- but I don't think this song could have taken anyone the distance. Shame.
4. Denmark - Soluna Samay - Should've Known Better
Maybe it was the hat, (which was a tribute to a deceased friend apparently) but... somehow this failed to connect with the audience. I liked it, but I also didn't like it all that much and I can't put my finger on why. I will say that I barely noticed the hat as I was too busy staring at the female drummer with her spinning sticks and bordering-on-awkward drumming style. She was mesmerizing and somehow I want to be her.
5. Malta - Kurt Calleja - This Is The Night
Did you know Kurt Calleja used to be an airline steward? I know because he got interviewed for Australian TV, and Sam Pang asked him if he remembered the the emergency exit routine-- and Kurt good-naturedly went through it for him. I was an instant fan after that.
He's great. And I really did like his song. It was cute, and pop, and catchy, and the guy was friendly. It had shoe shuffles, knuckle-taps, yellow pants AND a weightlifting glove! So many levels of awesomeness. I would have liked rank higher, but at least it made the final.
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Phew. See how hard I work for you three loyal readers? Well, not very hard because I was supposed to finish this last night and put it off, but whatever. I finally mustered the energy to do it today. It's better than nothing.
Right?
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